being uncomfortable in recovery right now is way better than being sad miserable and relapsing. ive been feeling a LOT of emotions lately but even so i dont want my thoughts to eat at my brain, ive been venting a lot to some close friends lately. i came home from school and i BAWLEDDDD my eyes out for the first time ever in MONTHS.... 😭 obviously with everything off of my chest i feel so much better now oh my goodness. i just finished two tests... now i have to do some chores and other things JEEEEEZ what a busy day.. but like every other day, of course i loved today

first things first, i started the day off with gaming!!! then the whole light of my day, shortly after wards today me and my 3 sisters went to my other older sister's house today! not only did we see my older sister but we saw her wonderful fiance and it was super fun. we started off with just hanging out normally, watched some tv, then a movie, had some lunch, then i finally was able to sit behind a car wheel today.. i was SUPER nervous but i was havign a lot of reassurance and support with me so! i know the basic LAWS already due to some online classes ive had but that was my first time... like.. ever.. so right now i know the slight basics of driving. i know how to go in reverse, go foward and of course turn. i know how to park but not normally like backing up and what not so when im more advanced thats when id be able to do all of that stuff so :>!!! when we got back to my sister's place from the driving lessons she was giving me we made tiktoks of us dancing and it was so fun! im very glad to say that i might return back over spring break!!!! we concluded our hangouts with lots of cute pictures&videos and now we are all officially in a gc!! im offically now home from all of that so i wanted to write about how much of a good day i was having but also recharge myself for some gaming time!! not to mention we all came home to some dinner made by my mommy!! were having salsa (onions, salantra, tomatoes, avacodo, sprinkled with lime), boied plantain (not smushed down tho), and some meat!!! im super excited to dig in n_n today was so so good! im glad to be writing on my digital blog again! :> but bye bye

honestly at the end of the day, we are all still children inside i am still able to feel the same joy i felt as an 8-10 year old up untill now as an 17 year old! i love playing with toys, i love ribbons and beads in my hair, i love watching shows targetting towards kids i love coloring ^_^ even if its childish, i love it! i am at my happiest when i am surrounded by the things i truly love. my room is all rainbow colored filled with stickers and plushies everywhere, and i still own things from my childhood even if its not all of it. i hope i never resent my younger self again i cant even understand why i even did in the first place even though it was years ago.. i was a cringe little girl but i was having fun its still apart of me even if it isnt me now, i love embracing the more childlike sides of me n__n but anyway now to about my day, it was calm and quiet day again today, even though it was spent with friends and my family so my day was super good! i ate so much spaghetti and my friend gave me LPS and a kuromi bag .. so now i have 2 kuromi bags :) im excited to hang keychains on it! once i went home ive just been focusing on coding my shrine splash page and my babymetal shrine page! which i would like to mention is very heavily inspired by goooby.. i am in love with using gradients now as backgrounds, i used some snippets of his code, and i of course made sure to modify it fully into my own but because of him .. now my pages feel super pretty ^^! i hope to make more shrines dedicated to more of my interests in the future when i have the time! but that concludes todays entry ^_^ i most likely will be writing more soon since i love doing these so much

hi everyone :) happy vday! love is simultaneous and everywhere! :)) today i dedicated this valentines day to mysef and my family! during art class we got the chance to make cards for our loved ones so of course i wanted to make one for my mommy and daddy. i was upset over some irl things so making the card to my family really helped garden my heart and ground myself really and helped to steer clear from the thoughts i was having since mostly really just thinking of love, and i already vented to a friend from school so i felt the stress breeze off of my shoulders :) i really value my solitude so all day i was mostly alone ^_^ i feel as if i am the most company i can ever get! its obviously not the end of the day for me but i just wanted to write anyway .. plus who wants to spend their whole day coding? not me! i wanna relax and watch some youtube hehe ... and of course since ive been writing so much in my personal journal lately! but i wish everyone a happy valentines day 😊😊😊😊😊😊 thx so much for reading

miserableness is not only an emotion it is a state of mind. the only way to change that is to get up and confront the negative people/things in your surroundings head on or nothing will change. im perfectly aware that it isnt easy for anyone, but sometimes it gets to a point.. :< people in this generation are miserable who sadly find comfort in their distress because that is all they know :(
the reason as to why i even wrote this is to remind myself of the position i was once in. i dont hate that i was in such a dark place in my life because thats how it shaped me to who i am today. the mistakes ive made, the people who have entered my life and left it, have all came to me as lessons. i will continue to grow and change every step of the way. may my heart, soul, and mind continue to guide me on my journey of self improvement

affirmations otd:

• i grow and change within every breath
• i will bloom into anew
• i am changing

that concludes today's entry ^_^ this is from my new irl journal ive started recently! but i simplified it in simple terms :) everyone have a nice day! byebye

hi everyone! vicky here! ^_^ i finally scraped my older blog page as promised and recoded & modified it for it to actually feel like me! :) ive been looking at inspo, pinterest, and coding this all day long! i also decided to get rid of my older entries and start this all over from scratch :) i feel like my older entries were super tmi much and i think oversharing esp on the internet has became really normalized -_- of course ill talk about my life! just not in much detail ... exposing your vulnerability on the internet is pretty dangerous, so i ask for all of you to be careful! and to please have self respect for yourself as well... 😞 you never know whos reading your entries! but anyway, not much has been happening, but ive improved my thinking a lot when im in my own solitude :) besides from my family ive only spoken to 3 other people today! its been really relaxing all day ^^ ive been learning how to not cling on my friends as much as well so thats really good! of course that doesnt mean i love them any less though, we all deserve our own alone time! hanging out with yourself will always be the most fun! no matter if its loud, or quiet! priortize yourself always :) but that concludes my first entry, have a nice day everyone!